Shootin' The Bird
by California Gruesome
Summary: I was in the basement, after condoning a meeting with a few on the members of "Coon and Friends" When we saw a bright, yellow and black signal. And it was not our signal. And so, Coon and Friends must investigate. OC story.
1. Independence

A/N: So. I pitched this idea to Mila and, I think a few other people. At first I thought it was dumb, and kinda under-developed. But, then, during a stupid as fuck language arts test, I started brainstorming. And before that fuckery test, I wrote some of it in social studies, because we do nothing in that waste-of-time-and-money of a class. So, I'm challenging myself, I'm gonna use Kenny's P.O.V. I may be madly in love with the character, but I dunno how he sees the world. Will he be OOC? Maybe. Will the other characters be OOC? Kinda likely. Will I do my best? You can count on it. So, I mentioned this would be an OC story. I..might have already chosen my OCs. So. Yeah. Yous guys mights has tos gives mes the informations? I'll send you the form at the end of this chapter, Hence hence. Anyway, damn, on with the story.

* * *

_**Mysterion.**_

_Who was this masked hero who courageously swooped our town in order to protect us? Is he South Park's personal batman but is not as cool or womanizing? What does he hide underneath that cheap mask and cape, that is obviously some raggedy-ass excuse of a bed-sheet? Who is this 'Mysterion', and what does he have to hide? And speaking of this crusader, who are his allies? Who is this Human Kite, Toolshed, Thee Coon, The Mosquito? How are we supposed to truly trust them with our city, if we do not know who they are? And how are we supposed to take them seriously, with their lame costumes and super hero names? Seriously, these kids must be like, nine years old or something._

Well, excuse me. I'm eleven and a half, you moron.

I frowned at the newspaper I was currently holding, then I tossed it, watching it dance in the wind. I save the world from crime, not litering. I was perched on a building, the drug store, if you wanted to get all specific. I was watching for crime, scouting if you must, while my friends played endless video games and ripped on each other for no good reason. Nothing was going on in South Park lately, yes, you heard me 's been pretty normal. Kinda weird, but I didn't believe in crime resting for a split second. So I watched. And I waited. Until I realized I was missing a new Terrance and Phillip episode.

God damn it, Crime always gets in the way.

The sky was blue, the mountains were still purple, according to science class, and everyone was shopping or talking. I scanned the horizon, almost wishing that something would happen.

"OHHHHH MYYYYY GGGOOODDDD!"

Be careful what you fucking wish for, Kenny.

I noticed the scream coming from around the corner. What was around the corner? The bank. I jumped off the drug store roof, and ran across the street, earning stares from the civilians. I broke the bank door open, realizing the alarm just going off. I saw several people on the floor with their hands behind their heads. I searched for the perpatrator, the dastardly fiend who could just openly rob innocent people. That's when my eyes fell on a little fat person, grinning madly at the woman behind the counter.

And thus, I facepalmed.

"Cartman?" I said, dropping my arms to my sides as if they suddenly turned into useless linguinie. He turned around, bewildered.

"FOOL! I AM THE CCCOOOOONNNNN!" He hissed, flaring his arms out and making a claw shape with his hands. I sighed.

"Whatever. What the hell are you doing, fat ass? I thought you were some sort of, retarded..sick twist of a hero?" I questioned, staring him down. He confuses me to a point of no end, of course, and the whole thing with Cthulhu wasn't a surprise. But a real crime? Robbing a public bank? Where his ass can actually get into real trouble? Never thought he had it in him.

"None of your business, Mystery-fag, I'm robbing this bank to protect the people!" He turned around and demanded more money to be put in his sack- haha, his sack- and the woman obeyed, pouring endless amounts of cash into the brown bag. I frowned.

"Cartman, I don't know what sick logic your using, but you're putting people IN DANGER."

"No I'm not, you poor asshole! I'm protecting them!"

"How the hell are you doing that?" A civilian asked, looking up for a split second. "You're trying to kill us!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Cartman roared, throwing plastic daggers at the man. The crowd gasped.

I noted that one of the hostages slowly pulled out his phone. I glanced outside, the police were already here, what could he possibly be doing?

"You there, in the green mickey mouse shirt!" Cartman called. He looked up

"Yes?"

"The fuck do you think this is man? What are you doing?"

He man with the mickey mouse shirt looked confused, then realized Cartman was gesturing to his cell phone. He slowly turned it towards Cartman, and we both squinted our eyes to see what was on the little, flashing screen.

You've got to be shitting me.

"...You're updating you FACEBOOK status?" I asked, mentally faceplaming myself. Facebook? DURING A ROBBERY?

"Hell yeah, man, The fucking coon and Mysterion are BRAWLING. I'm going to get so many likes!" He started typing again, and I felt my jaw clenth. People are idiots. IDIOTS!

"Jesus Christ, he has a point!" Another man said suddenly, taking his phone out of his pink shirt. He looked kind of gay, what with his blonde hair and blue highlights. "I must tweet about this!"

"Fuck twitter. TUMBLR ALL THE WAY!"

"HELLZNAW. MYSPACE."

"Myspace? Really? That's so lame."

"Yeah it really is."

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP! THIS IS MY ROBBERY! FUCK YOU GUYS AND GET ON YOUR KNEES!" Cartman stomped, having a mini tantrum in front of everyone. Dude, you're eleven years old, get a damn grip. You're embarrassing yourself.

"Uh, yeah, you were telling me why you're robbing the bank, Fat ass?" I waved off the internet-crazed people and directed my attention to Cartman again. He sneered.

"I'm robbing the bank so that it doesn't get robbed. DUH, DUMB ASS. It's all quite simple. You see," He jumped off the stool and dropped the bag of money on the ground, leaning casually on the white-washed wall. I backed up two paces. I knew what he was capable of, the sneaky bastard.

"If the bank has already been robbed, it can't be robbed by poor people. Or Jews. Or black people. Or Asians. Or poor, black, half Asian Jews. I'm protecting them! If the bank is already robbed, it can't be robbed again! Don't you see, you idiot?" Cartman replied, swinging his foot back and forth and smiling. In a way, he had a point, but his dumb ass will always be wrong.

"Cartman, that's bullshit." I sighed, slumping in my position for awhile. My god, he's stupid.

"Also, with the extra money, we can buy new equipment for the team. We can be better heroes, and totally kick more ass with better equipment! God, why don't you assholes think!" He sighed dramatically, sagging in his stance and grabbing the sack of money. I twitched. These are for selfish reasons, the idiot.

So Cartman, or whatever, decided to stroll like a bad ass out the banks revolving spinny door, which, I might add, was awful confusing to get into, with the stolen money slung over his shoulder. He waved casually to me, and the hostages, and I stared after him.

Well, my work here is done.

What do you mean, shouldn't I go after him? Have you not been paying attention? I'll even count for you. Three. Two. One.

"AYE! LET GO OF ME, YOU PEDOPHILE COPS!"

I casually strolled outside, waving to the officers nonchalantly and quietly laughing at Cartman's attempt to escape. Even if by some miracle he managed to get away from the cops for a split second, his fat racoon ass couldn't run anywhere. I bent the closet alley to the left, as I heard him cry "WHAT? A BLACK COP? No, this is wrong, I'M supposed to be arresting YOU! Get the hell off ME!"

* * *

For some reason I decided to visit the ''coon and friends'' lair. I don't know why, but I felt like it. Maybe there was work to do somewhere else, and besides that, it's Saturday. I'm kinda bored, and Myserion needs some exercise. I bounded down the stairway, leading into Cartmans basement. I looked around and shrugged. The place didn't look like it had been lived in in years. You know, besides all the super hero junk that was cluttered around it. The list of ''Top Bad Guys'' was still behind the huge red siren, you know, the one that let us know if trouble was around. There was still the black board with the super hero names and identities, basically everyones profiles. Nothing seemed disturbed, so I turned around to the closet.

Usually the closet is where I change. Myseterion doesn't always wear his costume, you know. I stood in front of the door, since there was no one in here, and took off my hood. Gross, my hair was showing. I mean I for one love blonds, like Bebe Stevens. She was my bitch for awhile, but then Craig came over and showed her this finger trick, and Bebe being the slut she was, was intrigued by it. But whatever. I flung the hood on a nearby coat hanger, and continued to take off my shirt. I poked my stomach, it was thin. Kinda rock hard, it was creepy. I tilted my head down to look at my stomach, but my hair fell in my face. I'm too lazy to brush it out of my eyes, so I just left it there. I was about to take off my shoes, when I heard something.

"And I was like, Justin Bieber should really grow upppp, It's not like he has Turner syndrromme, but, if he doesn't, the world will run ammuccck, with Jonas Brother gagging sluts, sslluttts- OH!" I grabbed my t-shirt from the floor and covered myself, realizing that someone was here. A girl, if I had to be specific. But it wasn't any girl. It was-

"Hey, Kenny"

Tuesday.

I was about to put my t-shirt back on, when I noticed the thick red coat over her cheeks. She was blushing? Why? She's seen me shirtless before, I think. But, I can use this to my advantage. Tuesday in her embarrassed mode never ever happens, so this was an opportunity. I smiled my smug smile and walked towards her slowly. She blinked a couple times and dropped the paper-work she was holding, hen bent over to pick them up. I decided to help her, but we both reached for the same thing, and our hands touched.

Fuck you, corny chick flick movies, fuck you.

"N-no, I got it. T-thanks Kenny." She twitched her nose a bit, much like a rabbit, but picked up the papers and put them on a desk. She sat down in that desk, and began working. What I wanted to know was what she was doing, and how she got into the lair.

"Tuesday?"

"Y-Yes?...Damn it Tuesday stop doing that." She mumbled the last part under her breath, scribbling furiously on that poor piece of paper. I crooked my eyebrow up.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, standing next to the desk and leaning against it, looking at her with my killer blue eyes. She blinked her hazel ones, then smiled.

"I am...the THAT girl." She smirked, gently placing her hands on her hips. The what?

"The what?" I said out loud, not understand what she meant by the 'it' girl. The hell is an 'it' girl? This isn't Skins!

"The THAT girl? You know, like, the girl that's REAL smart and does like, all the science work for the super heroes and makes all the reports and stuff and always gets her ass into trouble because she's so nosey but she's really smart? You know, the girl that's secretly in love with the super hero and the super hero knows it but they both don't wanna say anything necause they're pansies and end up pissing off the readers? Because they know they love each other but just won't freaking KISS already? Yeah, I'm THAT girl!" Tuesday replied, grinning madly as I tried to comprehend what she was saying.

"Tuesday, you just morphed Lois Lane with Betty Ross."

"EXACTLY! Can I be the THAT girl? Please?" She adjusted her fake, thickly black nerd glasses and straightened her white coat, which, I briefly noted, really hugged her hour-glass shape. She was really hot for an eleven year old, pedophiles everywhere must be going crazy.

Woah, Kenny, you don't like this girl. Knock it off. Ew.

"No." I shook my head and walked towards the ''Top Bad Guys'' list, thinking of all the freaks out there. I frowned.

"WHY?" Tuesday huffed, looking devastated that I had said no. I wrinkled my nose.

"To dangerous. You could get seriously- wait, I don't care. You could get- I couldn't- If you-I couldn't forgive my- DAMN IT. JUST NO." I exasperated, throwing my hands in the air. She pouted her lips.

"Please Kenny? I'll do anything you ask me too! Pretty please!" Damn it, she was whining. Sexiest voice ever. And I won't lie, when she said she'd do anything, google results couldn't compare to the amount of things I imagined her doing. Particularly on her knees.

NO, KENNY. GROSS.

"Noooooo! No no no, no. No!" I sat in the old red coach that was behind the board, and decided to kick my feet up and lounge in it. I laid my head back and closed my eyes, my head hurt now. I heard movement in the background, thinking Tuesday must have left. Good, she didn't need to be here. I didn't want her blood on my hands, especially not her blood. I mean, we already had Sadie on here, I don't want another woman on my team unless she's giving me a blow job. End of. Suddenly I felt something heavy on my lower torso, my dick, if I have to be specific, and my eyes snapped open. Tuesday was perched directly on top of my man-hood, her hands placed gently on my chest, leaning towards my face. I felt her hot, peppermint breath on my face, as her hair tickled my cheeks. She smiled a little bit, because she knew that I was blushing. It was really uncomfortable, her sitting on me like this. It was strong sexual tension, but she didn't move.

"I wanna be the that girl, Kenny." She bit her bottom lip, after whispering her request again. I shook my head no. She groaned.

"Fine, you wanna play that game? Mama Tuesday'll play it rougher!" She stated, and to my utter horror, she started rocking her hips back and forth. You know, I'm not one for science, or anything school related, but girl + rubbing = erection. And having one while she was on top of me was not exactly a good idea. I instinctively bucked my hips forward, and she sighed.

"Kenny, you're not supposed to enjoy this. You're making it too hard." She frowned, realizing her plan to seduce me wasn't working the way she wanted it to. I smiled.

"You're making Mally hard, too"

"Excuse me?"

"Mally. It's an inside joke, don't worry about it."

She sat up a little bit, adjusting her waste line and moving a bit again, making me even more uncomfortable. She pouted, and I blinked. Why the pouting? What did I do now?

"I just want you to know, that I l-"

"WOAH WOAH WOAH" We snapped our heads around and faced the owner of that voice, a red headed girl with hands on her hips, shaking her head in disgust and amusement. That, of course, was Sadie Broflovski. You know, the girl I mentioned earlier. She has green eyes, much like her cousins' and red hair. She has the biggest crush on Cartman ever, everyone knows that. You know, except for Cartman. He had no clue that Sadie made a complete idiot out of herself just to impress him. He didn't deserve t, if you asked me. But, girls are weird. What can I say?

SHIT SADIE IS IN HERE AND TUESDAY IS ON TOP OF ME OH GOD.

I pushed Tuesday off and sh landed with a surprised shriek and a _THUD. _I mentally cursed myself for pushing her off that hard, but it was still funny as hell. Sadie cocked her eyebrows.

"So, I can either pretend that I didn't see you guys dry humping, or I can rip on you two for eternity just because it was in as obvious of a place as the lair. Like damn" Sadie shk her head and winked at Tuesday. Tuesday frowned slightly, trying to cover up her obvious blush. I rolled my eyes

"We weren't dry humping, Sadie. God." She scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest. "He was choking on his bullshit, I was trying to punch it out."

"Whilst on top of him. Grinding. With a red face. Sure."

"Shut up, Sadie, it's not even like that." I interjected. I don't like Tuesday, even if she's the hottest thing ever. And I'd be damned (again) if she liked me. Sadie needed to get it straight, an not put any ideas into anyones' heads.

"When will you guys give it up and make out already?" Sadie asked. Tuesday and I turned green.

"EW. THAT IS DISGUSTING." Tuesday scrunched up her face, pretending to gag with disgust.

"I WOULD NEVER KISS HER. WHAT THE HELL. I'd rather NOT kiss some frenchie!"

"YOU SON OF A BITCH. I AM FROM ITALY."

"ITALY SHMITALY. THE ONLY THING ITALIANS ARE GOOD FOR IS PIZZA AND SEX!"

"AND HOW WOULD YOU KNOW, MAN WHORE? THE CLOSET THING T SE YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED IS A BLOW JOB FROM SOME BITCH WITH AIDS IN HER MOUTH!"

"HEY! Blame her, the bitch bit me. That hurt."

"Fuck you, Kenny."

"And I thought Wendy and I fought a lot." I saw Stan walk down the stairs, shaking his had while smirking. He was in his toolshed costume, flipping his screw drivers around between his fingers.

"Shut up, Stan. At least don't vomit on her when I talk to her." I leaned on Tuesdays' desk again. He shrugged.

"Hey, love is funny. And in a way, yo have a weird little reactant toward Tuesday, too." Stan stated, high-fiving Sadie, who was now sitting crossed legged n the floor.

"What?"

"You constantly argue with her and show some sort of physical contact towards her when you see her. Duh. Besides. You know you like her."

"Oh my god, Stan, shut up. I swear to god." Tuesday grimaced. Sadie chuckled.

"Served. And hey, NO ONE NOTICED ME YET. FUCK YOU." Sadie shouted, crossing her arms over her chest. Noticed what?

"Sexy costume, baby" Tuesday purred, smiling at Sadie. That's when I noticed her new super hero costume. I won't describe it, because I'm too lazy, but, let's just say it was tight and yellow. Kinda like the flash's costume.

"Oh, right. You're Bionic Red." Stan remembered, sending Sadie a glance. She nodded.

"I have mad super power skills. My hair changes color based on my emotions." Sadie tapped her head, which was currently red.

"What does red mean?" I asked, now curious to what her powers are. She smiled

"That's just me, you idiot."

"Oh."

"Okay, Sadie." Tuesday interjected, straightening her white coat again. "I need to write your adjustments in the log. Okay?"

"Sure thing, Day. I'll tell you whatever you need t kno- What's that?" Sadie pointed towards the window, which was open. Everyone directed their attention towards the open window, and took in what they saw. It was a bright, yellow symbol. Like the one in the batman series. Only this wasn't the bat signal, the logo was not a damn bat. It was a bird. A black, very large bird. Another knew super hero? Not if I had anything to say about it.

"Well, I gotta go." I said, grabbing my shirt and hood, pulling them on as I walked passed everyone. "See you later."

"Kenny, you're not going out there by yourself." Tuesday said, firmly, clutching her clipboard close to her chest. I sighed.

"Yes I am, Tuesday."

"Too late. I already called some reinforcements to help you." She smiled. I frowned.

"Why?"

"Oh fuck your loner crap, Kenny. Stan and I are coming with you. If some newbie, hero or villain, is hopping around South Park, we have to at least see what his or hers' motives are. Okay? Okay." Sadie huffed, blowing her bangs out of her face and running towards the door with Stan behind her. I stayed for just a second, and look at Tuesday.

"Are you gonna be alright? Here. By yourself, I mean." I didn't care, I just wanted to. Make sure. So her brother wouldn't kick my ass. Yeah.

"Don't worry about me, Kenny. I'll be fine." She nodded her head towards the door, and took her glasses off. "Besides, You're not getting all soft on me now, are you?"

"N-no. Not at all. And by the way, that's what she said." I ran out the door, leaving a confused Tuesday behind, and trying to catch up with Stan And Sadie. I didn't know what that cheesy bird signal was for, but I- we, we're going to find out.

* * *

**a/n: Yeah, there was a lot of unnecessary Kenday crap there but, yeah, thought it would be a cute conflict to start off the short story. Kenn needs something to distract him, Tuesday is the distraction, along with a whole lot of other stuff. Shut up, I know I got Kenny OOC. Kinda don't care, but, I'd love some pointers on how to keep in IC. And Sadie? Fucked her up. She was so OOC, I almost died. But enough wallowing. Ffft. Now, for the OC form. I WILL NOT accept more than NINE ocs. And Yeah, that's it. So here;s the form I want y'all to fill out. **

**Name:**

**Age:**

**Birthday:**

**Family:**

**Relationships:  
**

**Personality:**

**Looks:**

**Extra:**

**Super Hero Name:**

**Super Hero Powers:**

**How They Got Their Powers:**

**Super Hero Weakness:**

**Super Hero Looks:**

In case you're confused, which is likely, Here's an example. (Some things stated will not be true. And yes, I'm skipping a few. )

**Name: **Kyle Broflovski

**Age:** Eleven years old

**Birthday: **May 26th

**Family: **Sheila Broflovski (Mother) Ike Broflovski (Adopted Brother) Gerald Broflovski ( Father )

**Relationships: **Stan Marsh ( Best Friend ) Sadie Broflovski ( Unofficial Original Character Cousin as stated by MilaDreamer )

**Personality:** A sexy ass Jew. No, I'm kidding. Very wise, considered the 'nerd' of his friends, has a wide imagination, strong beliefs and when forced to question them, becomes very angry.

**Super Hero Name: **The Human Kite.

**Super Hero Powers: **The ability to fly and shoot lazers out of his eyes.

And I'm too lazy to write the rest. Simply state how they received their powers, weither it be because they fell into a vat of goo or they had sex with a radioactive tree. I dunno, get creative. Maybe they shoved a microchip up their ass just too ''See what happens''. I dunno, play with your imagination a bit. Dueces.


	2. The Dark Figure

A/N: Pardon my laziness and my lack of wanting to update. But now, I will present you with this. The second chapter of shooting the bird. I have chosen most of my characters; only because they fit perfectly with the situation I've deemed in my head. But enough of that, I'll continue with the chapter. By the way, the P.O.V's will be switching a bit between Tuesday and Kenny. Jussayin. Tuesday is first.

* * *

_Tuesday Acqua's P.O.V_

I always had several different feelings when they left.

For one, I was nervous. But I had gotten used to the subtle nervousness that overtook my brain whenever my friends went on missions. I was anxious, anxious for them to return okay and to brag endlessly about how much ass they kicked. I felt impatience, I wanted them to come back. And most of all, I was scared. Scared that one of them wouldn't return at all.

But then I would remember that if anyone died we'd all reek hell on whoever killed them then ask Damien to bring them back. Which he would, because he and Pip go out and I'm really close to Pip.

So after awhile all my feelings would disappear.

Except for that one feeling of regret. I don't know what I regret, or what I would regret. Maybe that little feeling of horror if one of my friends DID die. Like that one time when Kenny died in battle and he didn't revive the next day, I was devastated. Everyone treated me like a baby and kept repeating "I'm sorry, Tues". I'm sorry, Tues? Why just me? They were all sad too and I just don't get why I had to be singled out as the one who needed the most sympathy. I mean, I know they think that Kenny and I have some thing going on but we clearly don't if he can always flirt with some floosy whenever the hell he wants to weither I'm there or not. Because it's almost like he has no idea how I feel about-

Anyways, as I was saying.

I just needed to busy myself, so I decided to chart the super heroes and their abilities once again. I don't care what Kenny says, I AM the damn that girl. I pulled out the pink file cabinet, the one for the female super heroes. There weren't many. Mallory, Ollie, Malory, Circe, Addie and Sadie. Six operatives, but because of the firm anti-female thing, only Sadie was a permanent member. The others were back up.

Olivia Jackson.

Category: Plant/Wildlife.

"The Green Tea" has the natural ability to find sources of life in any general area. Healing powers, connection to plants that allows her to use their nurturing abilities on others.

Shortened Nickname: Wisp/GT.

Sadie Broflovski.

Catogory: Physcological Crossover

"Bionic Red" is in tune with her own emotions, and her different hair colors are the result .

Naomi Circe Charice Smith

I paused when I reached Naomi's file. Why? Well, I wasn't exactly fond of her. I didn't hate her; that's petty, especially for my reason. I kinda didn't like her for two reasons. One because she always has Kenny's attention and his eyes glued to her ass, and she doesn't even notice it. Also because she likes Cartman. I don't get what Sadie and Naomi see in that tub of lard, but alright. I don't know why I cared about Kenny's attention. He's a slut, his eyes are practically glued to everyone's ass. Maybe it was because of my inflamed ego over the years that always knew that it was supposedly one of the prettiest girls in school. At least that's what everyone said, but I didn't believe them. Naomi, on the other hand, is hot. If I didn't know better I'd say she turned me bi-sexual. But I don't like her, because she has one thing that I don't have.

So I decided to put the file down and frown in a huff. As I was putting them down, I swore I could have heard a weird, bumping noise. Like something settling recklessly in a corner. I shrugged.

"Maybe if you talked to him instead of fighting him all the time, you two would actually make some progress." I frowned at the voice. I knew who it was, but I didn't turn around. That noise wasn't him, either, so I didn't think about it. Much.

"Shut up Stan, you and Wendy fight all the time." I huffed and flopped my small body down on my red swivel chair, picking up a purple, well sharpened pencil and began doodling like mad.

"Was that supposed to be a come back? I like her, I acknowledged that years ago. We've been together since like 3rd grade soooooo," He swung on the banister pole for awhile and then jumped off, landing on his feet and shrugging. I always liked Stan, as a brother. It's because he always got me, ALWAYS.

"I'm..I'm not his type."

"Well if you mean you're not an easy slut, you're correct. But he likes you because you aren't an easy slut. He likes you because you're smart, and one of the hottest girls in this freaking town. Jesus."

I never understood what people saw in me. So I have dark orange hair and bright hazel eyes. Nothing special to me. But, he likes me..because I'm not like other girls? That stuff only happens in movies and books and tv shows and stupid frilly fanfictions..

"You just set yourself up, you know." Stan murmered, shaking his head and crossing his arms over his chest.

"What?"

"Nothinnnn"

"Stan baby can you help me with the files? I'm trying to re-sort the weapon systems with the super hero weaknesses. I can't mix those up." I dropped a load of files in his hands, some red, some blue. He sighed and began sorting. It was quiet, as we sorted files together on the black rug in the shape of a large M. He glanced in my direction then looked away. I glanced in his direction, then our eyes met. He pursed his lips, and I quirked my eyebrow. Then he pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.

"So are you gonna tell me or do we have to play like telepathy bull shit all day." I asked calmly, placing the white paper inside a blue folder with Mallory Sacremento's name typed in bold black on the front.

"I think Wendy's mad at me"

"No shit, Sherlock."

"You knew?"

"Been known Stan. Been. Known."

"But why?" His voice started getting a little raspy; a little worried. Kind of like the voice he made when he was being weird emo Stan. I tried to hold back my laugh. He noticed.

"Aww Stan baabbbyyyy" I swooned, trying to get him uncomfortably aroused. He blushed and returned to the files, trying to ignore me. I laughed again and placed my head is his lap. He gasped. I beckoned him to come closer, and he hesitated a bit. When he finally bent, I whispered in his ear.

"She's mad because you forgot your 3 years and five month anniversary. Personally I think that's crazy, but she's your bitch." I shrugged in his lap and his lips pursed in concentration. I watched him do so. He dropped his eyelids in a bored, nonchalant way and casually waved his arm around, as if dismissing the problem. He looked down at me.

"So should I buy her a ring or something cause I've never heard of such bullshit in my life. But to avoid conflict, I'll do what she asks. She's so creative, though. 3 years and five months.."

Usually when Stan goes on about Wendy I tune him out. But I somewhat listened this time, and studied his expression. It was nothing short of adorable. His face cocked slightly to the side, his shoulders dropped a little when he sighed, he had a goofy smile on his face, the one you would draw with a whole bunch of swiggly lines. I sat up lowly, not wanting to shake him out of his Wendy-daze. He blinked when I moved, and his expression suddenly turned worried. He opened his mouth to speak, but I interrupted.

"Three years and five months. Three years shows strong commitment so you should buy her a ring. Never gold, that's an incline to marriage and you don't want that to happen in case you break up, which is unlikely. Get her a silver one, preferably one with a small pink heart on it. We're eleven, make sure it's really shiny with some bright, bright bright mega ultra bright pink rhinestones. Or, if you want to go all out, I'll help you choose the ring so you don't fuck up. As for the five months, buy her five flower arrangements. I'll help you with that, too. Any questions?"

He stared at me for a couple of minutes, then gave me a hug. I hugged him back.

"Thank you, Tuesday. What would I do with out you?"

"Get back to these files, that's what. Maybe you should do it in the kitchen, I have girly crap in here that I'll deal with myself."

He nodded and got up to enter the small kitchen area that I had my friend build. It was really nice, had a microwave and a little fridge and table and everything. I pressed a few buttons on the outside of the kitchen door, setting it to sound proof. He can't hear me, but I can hear him.

I turned around smoothly and walked towards the stairs. I opened the cabinet and removed a bottle of water. I dumped the water in the corner of the room and heard a horrified yelp.

"Oh hey Malory I didn't see you there nope not at all." I rolled my eyes as she shook her blonde self, aggravated that I poured the water on her and wondering how I knew she was there. She was wearing her bright pink jacket and a green t-shirt with blue jeans. I ruined her t-shirt, of course.

"How'd you know I was there..?" She asked, her voice ringing like bells. I handed her a towel and she dropped it, twice, before almost slipping on it. Did I mention she was clumsy?

"I'm your mission assigner and your combat trainer. I know everything about everyone up in this bitch." She laughed quietly, more like a silent chuckle. I turned around nonchalantly and began to polish a trophy Stan won once during an undercover mission. He had to dress as a lesbian and spy on Ellen Degeneres..

"Oh."

"But yeah, I know you came here because you wanted to check up on Stan and you're in love with him and all that" Her eyes bulged out of her head when I mentioned that, trying to restrain a laugh at her horrified expression.

"WHO TOLD YOU THAT? IT'S NOT TRUE, I DON'T EVEN LIKE HIM LIKE THAT." She shouted. I was already chilling on the black M again, I wasn't paying attention to her denials anymore than she expected me to. Everyone knew about her crush on Stan, it was as obvious as Kurt and Blaine being in love. It was undeniable, and a sure thing. Everyone knew about it, but the guys. Guys are stupid, completely unregistered when it comes to affection. But all the girls knew, so I don't know why she keeps denying it.

"Oh right, that's like saying Kyle isn't Jewish or Cartman isn't a fatass. You're totally in love with him and it's time to fess up and grow some lady balls and tell him." I took a can of coke from the desk and began sipping it slowly.

"I'll tell him I like him when you tell Kenny you've been in love with him since 3rd grade."

I spit out my coke and began choking, fiercely. She smirked at this reaction but tried to help me. I gasped.

That's when the computer screen began booping and and beeping and red lights began flaring like police sirens. I ran to the computer and unlocked it.

"This is Station T.A 11, what's going on?" I spoke instinctively into the microphone headphone thing I placed on my head not two seconds ago. Malory rushed to my side and watched. I frantically pushed several buttons until the screen returned to normal, and I could see Sadie's face clearly.

"This is Bionic Red, come in T.A." She repeated. I acknowledged her request.

"What happened?"

I heard a clang in the background and saw Clyde jump over a piece of metal. My throat tightened. Sweat began to form at the base of my forehead. I knew my voice was to crack, but I couldn't just sit here.

"Do you need reinforcements? Are you okay? Where's Olivia? Why isn't Stan there?" I kept throwing questions at her like daggers, even though I was supposed to be remaining calm, keeping the peace and remaining in order.

"I sent him back to warn you. Did he?" Sadie said, clenching her teeth as the camera shook, I knew something was up. I just didn't know what, and I was panicking. I felt heat rise up the back of my neck in a fury. Why hadn't he warned me? Did it just _slip his mind?_

I raced towards the door in a rage, clicking the buttons to open it. It flung open when I pressed the M symbol. Stan was sitting there, chewing on some brownies my mother had made. I twitched.

"Get your punk ass up." I whispered, grinding my teeth together . I felt my hands close into tight fists. He looked up from his chewing and stared at me.

"So what's wrong with you?"

"Apparently you were sent back here for a reason. Do you remember?"

"Noooooooo-oooohhhhhhhhh crap. OH. Uh Sadie and Kenny need help downtown cause this kid is going crazy and Kenny's hurt and-"

"Wait what?"

I turned around and dashed towards the monitor again, shouting feverently at the screen where Sadie was.

"Sadie? SADIE! Where's Kenny?"

"What?" She screamed, looking at me like I was crazy.

"WHERE. IS. KENNY." I cried, shaking the monitor again. She gulped. My eyes starting hurting. Angst was everywhere. My head was going to implode. _Why won't she ANSWER me?_

"Is the silence slowly killing you?" Sadie chuckled, then ducked. I shook my head.

"Malory, please go help them." I threw Malory her watch and she changed by switching it from the red, normal mode to the blue, superhero mode. She raced outside with Stan behind her when Circe came bolting in.

"Heyyyy Tuesdayyyyy" She remarked, sitting on the ground next to me. Great, just what I needed. A distraction when my friends were being killed.

"Circe, be quiet."

"But what if I don't feel like it?"

"Circe, now is **not** the time **nor** the place."

"Tuesday, we need you down here. Now!" Sadie shouted, then the communicator shut off. I felt my mouth go dry. I'm not a fighter. I'm the base, the glue. I don't do anything but keep everyone together. I couldn't possibly go down there. And besides, Kenny said not to leave. To be safe as long as I can and I-

Kenny. He needed me, They all did.

"If you don't wanna go I can go for you, no sweat." Circe offered, standing up and brushing her black skinny jeans. I wanted to turn around and clock her in the face. I just do not LIKE this girl! But if I hit her, I'd get blood on her hoodie. It's a nice hoodie.

"That's not necessary, I got this." I whispered, grabbing my own emergency watch. I hesitated, I never used my powers on anyone before. I never really needed to. Of course I practiced, but-

"Are you saying I'm not good enough? Huh? I can prove you wrong any day of the week!"

"If that was supposed to be a pun of some kind, I'm terribly disappointed. Everyone's aware that my name is Tuesday, it's not funny anymore. Day of the week, har har. But if you make idle threats, I'd prefer it not to be on a Tuesday. It's irrationally stupid and I don't think the audience can handle it." I mused, annoyed with her bluntly effortless joke.

"You callin' me stupid now? I'm not stupid, I'm smart." She crossed her arms over her chest and frowned. I sighed, strapping my watch into place. I didn't have time for this.

"No hablo estupido." I shouted, casually waving her goodbye while darting out the door. I could faintly hear her remark.

"AYE! YOU DO TO SPEAK ENGLISH!"

I ran as fast as I could, downtown wasn't far from here. I gasped when I bent the corner. It wasn't as bad as I expected. A broken window or two, a fire hydrant going haywire and a crashed car behind the alley. It was dark, not a sound I could hear. No one was moving, it was deserted.I couldn't find my friends, not any of them.

"Olivia?" I shouted, I heard my frail voice bounce off the walls.

_Olivia? Livia? Via? Via?_

"SSSSAAAADDDIIIIEEEE!"

_Sadddiieee! Saaddiieee!_

"Clyde? Clyde?"

_Clyde? Clyde?_

"Stan? Stan, come on you guys, this isn't funny!"

I was about to break down in tears when I screamed one more time.

"_**KENNY?"**_

_**Kennnnnnyyyyyy?**_

Suddenly I heard the smallest of sounds. I was suddenly very alert of my surroundings. I crutched down into a bent position, like a lion ready to pounce. I listened, harder. I could hear something, Breathing. It was a person. I looked up from my position and saw a black figure with a cape flapping in the wind. My heart skipped a beat.

"Oh my gosh, Kenny, I was so worried about you! Where are the others? Don't ever scare me like that again, okay? Jesus didn't you hear me calling for you?"

He didn't respond. That was strange, usually he's be the first to make a snippy comment towards me and my constant over reacting. Why wasn't he paying attention to me now?

"Kenny?" I asked. The figure shifted, and started walking towards me. I froze. He or she didn't make any sounds when she moved. I couldn't move, nothing else registered in my head anymore but one word.

_Panic._

I reached for my watch and began dialing it furiously, when the slow, stalky figure stopped walking, and ran towards me. I stepped out of the way and he missed. He was gone again. Then he tapped my shoulder. Before he could move, I grabbed his hand and threw him over me. He winced, but sprang back up in the slightest of seconds. I blocked his punches, because I recognized them. I attempted to kick, but I missed. Horribly. He jumped over me and the minute he landed, I trip him. He fell, but then got back quick. To quick. He started running away, when I heard something.

"MOTHERFUCKER." Both of us turned around to see who it was. It was Cartman. Wonderful.

I heard a pained gasp coming from one of the corners. I could have sworn I knew that gasp from somewhere…

"You trying to rome my streets, villain? Are you trying to plumit the little good we have on this horrible jew-crawling earth with sadness? How many women have you raped? How many banks have you robbed? HOW MANY LIVES WILL YOU DESTROY BEFORE YOU'RE DISGUSTING LUST ENDS? I CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT YOU." He spit on the ground nearest his shoes and charged toward him in a rage. I stepped back to watch him make an ass out of himself. He charged toward the figure, but he just stood there. He had a champion' smirk, and confident stance. I wouldn't be afraid of Cartman either, but having an enraged fatass run towards you isn't exactly relaxing, no normal sane person would bear that expression. Cartman continued to run, obviously getting tired because we were a little far away from him, and I noticed something about the figure's costume. On the inside of his hood, a tiny, tiny detail, there was a black bird with a clover in it's left hook. A clover? How corny. A four leafed one no less.

And that's when it hit me, the blackbird. He was familiar, he was dangerous. Oh, no.

"Cartman, wait!" I shouted, but it was too late.

The dark figure raised his hand and lifted to finger ups close together like a closed peace sign. As soon as Cartman's fat little body got near him, he jabbed the largest vein in his neck, his collar bone, and the back of his neck. Cartman's pupils dialated, he froze, and then he fell to the ground hopeless and lifeless, almost like he was frozen. I looked at him in horror when the figure turned around to face me. Wonderful, I was going to die in an alley. I always thought I'd die like, asleep or something.

"Cartman! Nooo!" I turned around and noticed Sadie coming out from behind a dumpster. She was angry, I could tell because her hair was a burning, pitch black and her steel arm was throbbing. She lifted that arm and pointed it towards the figure, and I heard the faint _chick-chick_ as she loaded it.

"_Sadie, no! We don't take vengeance!" _I heard another voice, obviously being Kyle. Sadie didn't pay attention, she just kept shifting her arm to different modes and levels. She glanced at Cartman and I saw her hair flash to blue for a second, then back to black when she remembered why he was on the ground like that. Rain began to pour as she shifted her steel arm one last time.

"Say goodbye, motherf- Damnit!" She shouted, as she tripped over the sidewalk. I wanted to laugh, but the seriousness of the situation prevented it. The figure did chuckle though, and that made her hair blacker, if that were possible. She stood up and fired, the boom of the paint ball so loud everyone had to cover their ears. I ducked out of the way, so did the figure. In a quick, ninja like move he was behind me, and he grabbed me and out his hand over my mouth. I kicked and punched but the bastard is a slick bitch.

That's when I heard a furious snarl and a loud snap, and suddenly my mouth was free, and I could move again. I did a front flip forward over to Cartman and Sadie, making sure he was alright. She smiled at me, even though it was clear that she was upset because her hair was a deep blue. She sighed

"Maybe now..maybe when he wakes up he'll notice me" She sighed.

The figure-evil-person-thing's feet were tied up in a tight knot and Stan was kicking him in the face. I tried to comfort Sadie as she poked Cartman gently, trying to wake him up. He mumbled under his unconcious breath.

"Damn..dirty...Jew...drag queen..." Sadie tried to smile, but it hurt her because he wasn't saying it to her face. I felt for Cartman's pulse on the side of his neck, when I noticed a mark on his that I'd never seen before. It was a dark, small little smudge. It clearly was some sort of shape that meant something, I just couldn't figure it out.

"Ow!" I heard someone yelping. I turned around to watch Stan kicking, and Malory's chanting.

"...And that's what you get for messing with Cartman!" She shouted, then Stan kicked him again, "And THAT'S what you get for trying to hurt Tuesday!" Stan kicked again after Malory shouted. It's like they were a tag team, her giving Stan more reasons to kick his ass more than usual. Suddenly the figure jolted up again and pushed Malory off, somehow the lasso had loosened and he was up in a split second again, and he ran. Kenny sprang into action, but Stan stopped him.

"What's the matter with you? He's getting away!" Kenny said, dropping his shoulders. Stan shook his head as if to say, let him go, we have bigger things to deal with right now. Kenny sighed a defeated, disgruntled sigh and trudged over to me while Stan helped Malory up. I didn't notice before but Kyle was right behind Sadie, comforting her in the silent, cousin like telepathy that they shared. Kenny plopped himself down next to me, a little bit away from Cartman's body.

"Are you okay?" He asked, breathlessly, placing his hands firmly on my shoulders. "Did he hurt you?"

"I'm f-fine, Kenny. Just a little shaken up is all. I'm worried about Cartman."

"Why didn't you stay in the lair? This is why I don't want you around this kind of stuff, Tuesday, it's dangerous!"

"I couldn't just sit there and watch you guys fight. I needed to do something. Besides, it's clear that you need me-"

"What I need is for you to stay safe and out of harms way." He frowned, standing up. I huffed and went in the other direction, and he followed me.

"What is your _**problem? **_I swear you are just like my dad and my brother! You don't think I can do anything for myself. Is it because I'm a girl? That's stupid and sexist! I'm fine by myself, I don't need to watching and protecting me like a guard dog!" I shouted, crossing my arms over my wet chest. It was still raining, so my hair was wet and sticking the my face. Kenny sighed.

"You don't understand, I protect you because you're reckless!" He fumed, stomping his foot and making direct eye contact with me. I felt several different emotions cloud my judgement, and I didn't care. I didn't care what I was going to say next, I didn't care who's feelings it hurt, I was just _**angry**_.

"I'm reckless? Me? Are you serious!" I dropped my hands down and felt them curl into fists. "Do you know what I can do with my hands right now?"

He smirked. "I can think of a lot of things."

"Shut up!"

"But Tuesday, really, I don't doubt your awesomeness, it's just that I-"

"It's just that you SUCK! You, my parents, my brother, my whole family! No one believes in me! I've had security guards since I was two! My brother has always harassed every guy I hang out with, my dad slugs HALF my friends, and then you, on top of it all, RESERVE me from having fun! I can do things too, you know. I'm just as much of a bad ass as everyone else! Fuck you, Kenny! You will never understand me! No one will! But I'll show you, I swear to god I'm going to fucking show you, and everyone else who's ever doubted me!" I barked at him, then turned around and stomped off in a rage. I was so tired of people calling me a baby, thinking that I can't do anything. We had a mystery on our hands, and a man down, and your asking me why I came to help? What the hell?

But, the mystery. That clover, and the weird black shape on Cartman's neck. It was like a missing prophecy of some kind, like an oracle. The weird guy in the hood, who was he? I needed to figure this out, with or without their help. I guess it's time to pull off the little scientist gloves and put on something heavier and more becoming of me. Something that would smack everyone dead in the face. I'll show you, McCormick.

* * *

A/N: WOOOO! Long time no see, huh? What is this like, four or five months? Oh my god, I'm so sorry. But I'm on summer vacation now, so, more updates! I'm a freshman! YAY! But um yes, I have decided on he characters and how many chapters there are to be. This is going to be a ten chapter story. Yes, quite short, isn't it? I might extend it as the story progresses but, this is the ideal amounts of chapters. So yes, Review? I'm so sorry for neglecting you guys. Bye bye!


	3. The Wall

A/N: So. I've decided not to put an exact limit on chapters. That's no fun. I'll just let my juices flow and do what the hell I want. Problem? Chapter 3 now? Kay

* * *

**_"_****_Expect the unexpected. Especially from those you've deemed unworthy"_**

**_- _**_Jasmine Monroe_

* * *

_"_What a DICK!" Cartman shouted, waking up from his dazed state in the infirmary. Kyle jumped a little bit in his chair and glanced over to Cartman, rolling his eyes. Personally I was tired of everyone and their little angst fest after that attack. I mean, I can't lie and say I wasn't a little concerned about everyone. Except Cartman, I didn't care that much about him. Butters was here, you know, to take care of him. Naomi was livid when we came back, clinging to Cartman's body and barking questions to Sadie. Her hair was already a dark blue, which means she was deeply upset. She narrowed her eyes at Naomi. I knew Tuesday and her didn't like Naomi that much, didn't know why, but I flashed Kyle a 'please get your cousin before she kills Naomi' look, so he patted her on the back and led her to the television. The Outsiders were on, so she relaxed a little bit. Her hair is still blue, and it keeps getting bluer.

What I'm really worried about is Tuesday. I haven't seen her since the fight, and she turned her locator off. I didn't mean to hurt her feelings, not that I care about her feelings, I just hope she doesn't get her ass into any trouble. I'd be really, really mad if something happened to her and I couldn't protect her. I just don't know what the hell her problem is, most people would like it if Mysterion wanted to be around them all the time. Not that I want to be around her all the time, I just think that if I have to work with a citizen with no powers, I gotta protect them. It's a super hero image thing. I'll find her after her temper tantrum cools off, I didn't want to deal with it right now. I had bigger things to deal with, like that weird dude that came out of no where.

_Who was he?_

_"_You're telling me you guys got your asses kicked. By some guy. In a black cape? Are you serious? I knew I should've gone down there!" Naomi exasperated, throwing her arms in the air. The black haired girl was obviously prone to proving herself, but this wasn't a matter of pride. Yeah, our asses were kicked, but we had a new villian on our hands. I didn't know what to make of him, but he obviously had some sort of thing with Tuesday. She tried to warn Cartman like, twelve seconds before he froze him, but she was too late.

"Where's Tuesday?" Kyle asked, and everyone turned to face me. "I haven't seen her since you insulted her."

"Shut up, I didn't insult her." I spat, frowning. I didn't insult her, I let her know that she was reckless and I needed to watch her.

"You know the reason she ran off was the prove herself, right? She's impulsive, she's gonna do whatever it takes to make people know she's fucking serious." Naomi chimed in. She rolled her eyes at my dumbfounded expression and twitched her mouth to the side.

"She's right, you know. You doubt her to much." Sadie sighed. "All she wants is to impress you, you idiot."

"You should talk, Sadie. At least she doesn't trip over her ass to please some Jew hater." I scoffed. Her hair turned a deeper blue.

"Oh, Sadie wait I-I'm sorry-"

"You **_ASSHOLE!_** I don't know WHAT she sees in you!" She shouted, lunging towards me. I stepped back a little while Stan and Naomi held her back. "God what is wrong with you? I swear, the only reason I'm hear is to keep your impetuous ass out of trouble! Jesus you fucking SUCK!"

What the hell is it with girls saying I suck? I'm not gay, the fuck?

"..You guys can't possibly be fighting about Tuesday, can you?" I heard a voice say, coming from the top of the stares. It was Mallory. No, not Malory, Mallory. As in Sacremento. We usually call her Lory around the other Malory to avoid confusion. Anyways, 'Lory', was coming down the stares, cracking sarcastic smart ass comments as usual. She was wearing her black queens t-shirt with her jeans vest over it, and her fingerless-gloved hands were curled into casual fists.

"We do it all the time, anyway. What's up Lory?" Stan inquired the dark haired girl, after restraining Sadie. She shrugged.

"Meh, I saw her running towards north. I asked her what was going on, and she said she was investigating. So, you know, I figured it was one of your guys' stupid games, so I came to tell you." Lory announced, walking casually towards the computer. My eyes bulged. She was going up north? _Alone? _She gently pushed aside the other Malory, who was searching for Tuesday on the computer and started typing some stuff in. We all just stared at her.

"Oh and by the way" Lory stated, shaking us out of our staring, "She told me to google a four leafed clover. Dunno why, she just asked. NoW I gotta go, I can't be seen with you losers- Leo!" She shouted, seeing Butters come out from the infirmary. I quirked my eyebrows up, Sadie smirked, and Kyle just stood there, shaking his head.

"Hi Leo! I-I didn't know you were gonna be here..." She gushed, playing with Butters' arm when he came near her. She hugged him, and he blushed.

"Hiya Lory! I-I didn't know you were gonna be here! I'm playing Doctor!" Butters replied. Lory's face fell.

"Oh...with who?"

"Oh gross, not like that. Pervert. He's helping Cartman's dumb ass for charging towards a fucking ninja" Kyle exasperated. Lory sighed, relieved. Suddenly, the computer started beeping and flashing the red light again. Lory typed in the code word and unlocked it.

According to the computer, some masked person was seen in the forest striking up a racket to the nearby towns people. He wasn't hurting anyone, but a lot of people seem to be shaken up by his presence. Public disturbance? Didn't seem like such a big deal to me. We could let the police handle tha-

Holy shit. A masked trouble maker. He was wearing something, the camera was fuzzy, but I knew it was him.

"Sadie, Stan, can you guys come with me?" I turned around to ask them. They nodded at the same time. "Naomi, watch Cartman. Kyle and Malory, check up on that clover. Try to figure out why it's significant to anything. Lory and Butters, play doctor. And no, Lory, NOT with each other. Keep Cartman under control. We got a mission."

* * *

"Why the hell are their trees in the god damn forest?" Sadie asked, scrunching up her nose as she slashed her way through the shrubbery. I was in front, and my hood was down because it was a little hot in the forest. I know, right? Hot in South Park? Probably to everyone else it would would still be cold, but the slightest temperature change to us is hot. Maybe it was because it was 8 pm, I've always heard that it gets warmer in South park after 7. Anyways, Stan was behind me, with Sadie behind him.

"It's a forest, Sadie. Plants and bugs and stupid stuff like that live here. Even though I hate this place." Stan replied, cutting through a large, green bush blocking our pathway. "God damn christmas anti christ blood orgy animals.."

"It's not that it's a forest, Stan. I just hate all the overflowing flora and fauna around the place. I mean the unbalanced residue of each and every pollen that's flowing around the place is enough to cause a inward explosion of brain activity and sinus sensitivity. It will totally infiltrate your nasal passage and block your-"

"Sadie, ssshhh" I grimaced. She casually ran passed me. I frowned and followed her, swiftly trying to keep up with her pace. She jumped over a fallen tree trunk and landed on her feet, which I found strangely ironic. Usually she would have fallen or tripped over something by now with her clumy sel-

"OW! GOD. DAMN IT!"

Oh, there we go.

She tripped over some roots behind the tree trunk, and was sprawled on the ground. I couldn't help but laugh at her as Stan laughed with me. She glared at us as she tried to get up, smoothing out her leotard with her hands and holding her chin up. She fixed her black hat and continued walking forward a little out of sight.

"So, Kenny." Stan started, as we continued to leap over rocks and fallen trees. I shot my grappling hook from my arm and swung over a branch while Stan ran over it. "What's going on with you and Tuesday? Really, I'm serious."

"Woah!" I fell off balance for a second when he said Tuesday's name. I gritted my teeth. "Nothing. I protect her because her brother asked me too. He wants her to play with us, but he doesn't want her fucking herself up."

"Come on, man. It's me. We've been friends forever, not that that really matters or whatever. Seriously, what's up?"

"I'll tell you what's up when you tell me why you haven't noticed Malory yet." I said, landing on the muddy floor of the forest and running towards Sadie, who was a good four or five feet in front of us. I couldn't see Stan, but I knew he had a confused look on his face.

"Notice Malory? What do you mean?"

"GOD, Stan! You're such a guy!" Sadie called over her shoulder. Before either of us could interrogate Stan any further, we heard Sadie swear again, followed by an unexpected _''oomph''_. Clumsy ass must have bumped into something.

"Owwww" She whimpered, but tried to cover it up when we got closer. "Who the hell put this wall here?"

I looked up at the stone slab wall Sadie had bumped into. It was a white washed wall with green vines curling all around it. A few roses were poking out of the cracks in between the vines. It was a pretty wall, but you can tell it was like fifty something years old. Stan stared at the wall as Sadie rubbed her palms against the wall, looking for something, I just didn't know. She found dents and scratches, but nothing interesting happened. She didn't find anything. Stan looked up.

"Holy shit, dude. Do you think there's something over there?" He asked me. I shrugged.

"Maybe. I'll check it out." I backed up a few paces and started re-loading the grappling hook Tuesday had given me for christmas,because she gave everyone a weapon that she though ''suited their personality'', when I heard Sadie scoff.

"Why do you always gotta do the fun stuff? I wanna help out too, dick face." She smirked and pushed me out of the way. Usually I would let a girl do whatever she wanted, just so I could see her body move. But, this was my mission, mostly. I wanted to peer over that wall. I wanted the satisfaction.

"Sadie, I want to climb over the wall. I have the hook, and you can't climb"

"How do you know if I can climb or not? Stalker?"

"You're clumsy and you might fall off the edge. And die."

"You don't know that. Why you gotta be such an ass most of the time?"

"Sadester, come on now. You're too bad ass for this weak ass mission. Let me handle it okay?" I mused, loading my grappling hook again. She frowned and stomped her foot in a childish manner and flopped on the ground, mumbling something about being a dick and sucking ass and how she didn't know what she saw in me blah blah blah. I felt my hook launch and before I knew it, I was in the air then on top of the wall. I peered over the other side, I was clearly about eight or so feet above ground, but I could make it. I braced myself for impact as I leaped onto the other side. I landed in something soft. More bushes and trees.

They were kind of small trees, big enough to cover the wall I just jumped over and to block site from the other wall adjacent to that one. It was like a pattern; forest, wall, forest, wall. I was on the second forest in between the two walls. Sadie and Stan could not hear me and my communicator was being blocked by something. I didn't need them anyways, they could very well stay put. I hopped off of the thick bush I landed on and began walking, pushing my way through more annoying shrubbery. The moon was out now, and it was full.

* * *

I've been walking through these trees for about 20 minutes now. My radar still said that there was someone ahead of me, even if I couldn't see them. I looked for the other wall that I'd seen when jumping off the first one, it seemed to be further away than I had thought. I was beginning to think that this mission was pointless and that I should turn around, when suddenly, I heard something.

I quickly ducked under the nearest tree stump that was closest to the wall, where I heard the noise. I couldn't see anything as I strained to listen for the sound again. I'm so sure that the noise was the dark figure, sneaking up on me. I reached for my firecrackers and prepared to hurl them, when I glanced up, and saw something. Someone, actually. Instinctively, I hurled the fire crackers him, but he back flipped and landed smoothly at the edge of the wall.

What was he doing?

He scurried down the wall, further into the forest, trying to shake me off. I followed him, silently but surely. He wasn't going to get away from me this time. I was about to launch my grappling hook again, locking my eyes on my target, firecrackers in my left hand, grappling hook in my right, when suddenly, my jaw hung open, my body unexpectedly numb, my eyes bulging out of their sockets-

I dropped my firecrackers.

* * *

A/N Oh. My. God. Why Kenny drop his fire crackers? What happened? Only I know. Yes, I do. Guess what you guys? The next chapter is going to be a SONG CHAPTER! YAY! Why, you say? Cause I can? Of course. My story my rules okay? In between the story I'm going to have little songs and such, no worries. And guess what? I'm updating again tomorrow, as a special tribute to you guys, for one reason and one reason only. Tomorrow, is my birthday. YAY CALIFORNIA GRUESOME! Tomorrow I will be fourteen. Oh my god. I just. I can't. Anyways, I hope you liked this chapter, I'm updating tomorrow, review, fall in love with me, sing a song, all that jazz. Kay? Okay. I love you guys!


	4. Oracle

**_"Feet are feeling light."_**

It was a girl. A young girl, probably my age. She was perched at the end of the second wall, the one I was looking for. I couldn't see her very well, but I knew she was wearing a zorro-like mask. By the dim light of the moon I couldn't tell the color of her hair, but it was curled and it swayed with each move she made. She was wearing a blue, long-sleeved deeply cut v neck unitard with a white star on her chest. The unitard had black along the neck. On her hands were black fingerless gloves with spikes on the knuckles, armed for punching. On her feet were almost knee-high converse boots with bright, white laces on the front. I tried to move forward without being heard, but I stepped on something, so she bounded forward on the wall. She was very light footed.

_"**Head on out to see the sights."**_

She stopped in the middle of the wall, searching for something. It would be safe to say that she was searching for me, what girl wasn't?

**_"Ain't life a many splendored thing?"_**

I climbed the wall in less than a minute, chasing after the girl. She turned around and saw me. Oh, crap, blew my cover. She gasped and started running, jumping off the wall onto the other side. I continued to chase after her, ducking up and down from these nature beings. I heard many things, but I heard her as well, ever though I knew I had a mission and all, but, she could very well be the dark figure everyone was complaining about.

**_"Ducking up and down, all these crazy sights and sounds."_**

She grabbed onto a branch of a tree and tried to jump onto it, but instead the back of her unitard got snagged on the edge of the branch, leaving her dangling and throwing a bit of a fit. She crossed her arms over her chest and frowned, bobbing as the branch struggled to support her weight.

**_"Bouncing like a puppet on a string"_**

She swore under her breath as I approached her, a bit of shocked grazing over her facial features. The darkness of the area made her hair look a deep, murky brown. I looked at her from below.

"Oh well, hey there." I smirked, nonchalantly climbing the tree. She huffed.

"Hey yourself." Her voiced was light and eerie like bells, and a little breathless. "Is there a reason you're over here?"

"I could ask you the same thing, beautiful." I smiled. She blushed but looked away, focusing on getting off the branch. "You shouldn't be up here, you know."

"Oh really? What makes you think you can make me turn around?" She gasped when I cut the branch, but gathered herself quickly enough to land on her feet and back flip to regain her balance.

"I'm really," I jumped onto a lower branch, hanging onto it while I leaned in towards her face "Persuasive" I breathed, and she shuddered.

"Well, you can persuade your ass somewhere else. I have a mission to do and I'm to focused to deal with you right now." She stated, walking towards the other direction. Oh, so she was stubborn. I really like stubborn girls. I decided to follow her, and she proceeded to act annoyed.

"What is it you're looking for?" I asked her. She groaned.

"Nothing you need to know about. Will you please go play by yourself or something?"

"I prefer to play with someone else than play by myself." I remarked, jumping in front of her. She gasped, then scoffed. "But really, you shouldn't be here. You know, alone in the forest all by yourself."

"As I said before, I have something to do, you won't make me turn around." She leaped over another tree trunk, and gasped again.

**_"Never gonna find, anything to change my mind."_**

I continued to follow her and I saw what she was gasping at. It was an old greenhouse with vines and weeds sprouting about it. It was clearly abandoned a long time ago. I didn't think I would find anything in there, but she thought so. She started running toward the green house, and I chased after her. She stopped suddenly at the door and I studied it as well. The door was the shape of a four leafed clover, with four small black birds inside each of the leaves. She traced the outlining of the clover with her hand and rubbed her fingers together. She frowned.

"Oil" she spat. "The shining stuff on it is oil. He isn't here." She kicked at the door and growled, frustration taking over her mind. I stared at the door, then back at her.

"Who isn't here?" I asked. She wrinkled her nose.

"That Dark Figure person. He attacked some of my friends." She sighed, rubbing her shoulder. My eyes bulged. Apparently, this figure had targeted more than one person. I stared at the door, trying to figure out how to open it. She started punching it repeatedly.

"Maybe if you let me handle it-" I started to say, but she stopped her punching to glare at me.

"Maybe if you left me alone and let me do my job, I could get this done faster," She continued her rhythmic punching.

"What makes you think I'm suddenly going to change my mind and turn around, Oragami-circle? Never gonna change it, I'm stubborn, you know."

**_"Famous last lines of a fool"_**

"My name is Oracle. Not Oragami-circle, you twat." She sighed and stopped beating the door. Ahaha, beating. "It won't budged."

I grinned and gently pushed her out of the way before saying "Excuse me, Oral."

I took more firecrackers from my back pocket and threw them on the ground. It blew open the door with a _FWAM!_ as I turned around to smirk at her.

"IT'S ORACLE!"

"I know what you're name is. I was just describing what you'll be giving me by the end of the night." I walked in casually but cautiously to the green house, searching my surroundings throughly. She blushed and stuttered to herself. I liked the way she freaked when anything embarassing happened to her. It was cute.

"I'm what?" she asked. Shit, did I say that out loud? "No, dude, you didn't say that out loud."

What the fuck?

"How do you know what I'm thinking? Or are you just a really good guesser?" I asked, almost tripping over a piece of glass. She shrugged.

"Well I have super powers. I'm a telepath and I can see fragments of the future. I heard what you thought about- my embarassing behavior. All I have to say is, shut up."

I laughed at her bewildered stare and continued to look around the greenhouse. It was a bit pretty, I guess, as far as a green house goes. Besides all the broken glass and and wilted plants everywhere, it was pretty. I didn't know what exactly we were looking for in here, but it was obviously a clue of some kind. She searched the area with her cloaked eyes, I had no idea what color they were. That bothered me. I liked using pick up lines on girls with pretty eyes. I didn't know what color her eyes were, so my game was kind of thrown off.

"I won't tell you my eye color, that's like half of my identity." She smiled. "But what are you doing here by yourself anyway? Don't you have a team or something?"

"I could ask you the same question. But if you really want to know, I have some of my team waiting on the other side of the wall. Not that it matters to me, I like working alone anyways, since no one really remembers me."

"I'm not sure they appreciate being left alone there while you get all the action. And what do you mean, no one remembers you?" She asked, looking under some white wood. I sighed.

"I have a super power, too. I can't die. I just wake up the next day in my bed like nothing happened, and no one remembers when I die. It's a horrible feeling, it's like no one seriously cares about me. I just die over and over again, and then the next day, every time with out fail, I wake up in my bed again." I scrunched up my nose at my inner pain of being forgotten. She gasped.

"I could never handle that on my own, I'm so sorry." She hung her head as if she wanted to cry. I didn't know how to handle that. I'm not used to girls crying because of me. Shouting at me I could handle, bitches do it all the time. But crying? Nope.

"It's okay. I'm kind of a loner because of it. Just by myself 24/7" I shrugged and stepped on another piece of broken glass.

**_"Just when you think, you're a chain with just one link"_**

"We need to find his four-leafed clover. Mind you, this clover is larger than normal clovers, and it's made of metal. It's about the size of a small spoon and as thick as-"

"My dick?" I interrupted her, and she scoffed dramatically, throwing her hands in the air and rolling her eyes.

"NO. Just look for a clover, okay?"

So we searched the green house for the mysterious metal clover, looking inside flower pots, between cracks and inside old broken cabinets. We searched and searched, but we couldn't find it. We were about to give up, when I saw a shiny object in the corner of my eye.

There it was!

I ran towards it, well hidden behind some green grass and placed on a small wooden stool. I grabbed the clover and sat on the stool triumphantly. I was about to turn around to shout to Oracle that I had found it, when I felt myself being tackled.

**_"Something comes to tip you off, your stool."_**

"LOOK OUT!" She screamed, tackling me suddenly. My first instinct was to push her off instantly after impact, when I realized why she tackled me in the first place. Green lazers started spewing out of no where as we narrowly dodged them. She pushed me behind a small statue for cover.

"Where the hell did these god damn lazers come from?" I hissed.

"You triggered them when you removed the metal clover from it's stool. It was motion censored. Why didn't I think of it first? Why didn't I see it?" She shook her head in frustration. I placed the metal clover inside my glove and grabbed Oracle by the shoulders. I looked at her in her covered eyes.

"It's not that-" _pew!_ "Big of a-" _pew! pew pew pew! pew! _"Deal! I mess up all-"_ BAM! "_The"_ bam bam bam! _"Time on missions!" _pew pew pew!_

"Yes it is! No one ever takes me seriously enough and I'm trying my freaking hardest here to god damn prove myself and I can't even detect a stupid motion censored flower? God damn it!"

I frowned. She frowned.

"We gotta get out of here. Do you see a way out?" She asked me. I looked around.

"Over there." I pointed. "There's a ladder that leads to the top of the green house. If we can run over there quick enough, we can climb out of here." She glanced at me, then at the ladder then back at me again. She chewed her lip thoughtfully.

"Let's do it." She sprang forward and I ran after her, we dodged the green lazers as they barely missed us. She reached the rusted ladder and began climbing it swiftly, not stopping to catch her breath until she was at the top. I was right next to her when she shouted

"WOOO! TAKE THAT, YOU GOD FORSAKEN GREEN HOUSE! I AM SO LEGIT BAD ASS UP IN THIS BITCH, MOTHERFUCKER MAGNETO CAN'T EVEN TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW. OH MY GOD, I AM SO. AWESOME. TOTALLY DODGED THIS BITCH LIKE OH MY GO-"

"Oracle, move!" I yelled, pulling her hand and jumping off the greenhouse. She screamed as we fell through the air, missing the lazer's last attempt to zap us into ashes. We fell through trees and landed on a bush, her landing on top of me in a straddling position. She groaned as she began to sit up, placing her arms on my chest firmly. She scrunched up her nose as I laughed furiously.

"Well hello hello to you too." She scoffed. I laughed at her again.

**"_Hello, hello."_**

"Hi." I replied. Sitting up and facing her. She was still straddling my waist and she refused to move from there as I made direct eye contact with her. She blushed again, and I fought the urge to laugh at her tomato face.

**_"Hello hello, My my my what have we here?"_**

"Well, I, I um. I don't- Thanks. I guess. We're a good team. I suppose, seeing as I've never really worked with you before. You're Mysterion, right? I know it's kind of late for introductions but, yeah. I'm not surprised your as awesome as everyone says you are. I'm impressed, really." She stuttered, removing her hands from my chest and placing them on my shoulders instead. She smiled.

**"_What a surprise, what a surprise, hello hello"_**

_"_You're not to bad yourself, Oracle. I wish I knew your real name though. Really. But, thanks for helping me out back there. I would've been fried if you hadn't tackled me back there. Thanks." I replied. She smiled.

"Anytime."

"But, also, thank you for making me feel, I don't know, less alone. I'm not the only one here with real super powers. I know that now. I mean, my friends have power to but, most of it is all little stuff that doesn't make them much different. Either it's an invention or they happened to get it ten seconds ago. It's nice to know someone else was born with a power." I replied, wrapping my arms around her mid-section. Her face became redder.

"I know how you feel." She dipped her head. "I always felt less important to some people."

**_"Hello, Hello. I'm not alone, that's good to know."_**

_"_Maybe we don't have to feel like that anymore." I whispered, tightening my grip around her. She bit her lip.

"Yeah. Maybe."

"Maybe we can. Be friends. Or, just-"

"Yeah. Maybe."

"Do you say anything else besides maybe?"

"Yeah- Maybe..."

I leaned in closer to her face as I felt her peppermint breath begin to tickle my nose, I was inches away from her when-

"KENNY? KENNY WHERE ARE YOU?" I heard Sadie yell. "Dude, are you okay? KENNNNYYYY?"

Oh for fucks sake.

"Oh, no. I have to go." She scrambled to get up, panicking to hear Sadie's voice. "I'm so sorry, Mysterion, I don't know what came over me, I was to go."

"But-wait!" I shouted, grabbing her hand. "How will I find you?"

"You can't. I have to go!" She yanked her hand away from mine and disappeared into the forest. I was about to get up and chase after her, When Stan grabbed my shoulder.

"Oracle! Oracle, wait!" I shouted. "Wait!"

"Dude are you okay?" He asked, concern washing over his features. I shook my head.

"No! You and Sadie just interrupted the BIGGEST moment of my life! You two have HORRIBLE TIMING!" I spat, angrily getting up and started stomping away from them. Sadie frowned.

"The fuck is your problem? And who were you talking to? I heard another voice. Kinda high pitched and girly." She gushed, chasing after me. I scoffed.

"Nevermind. It's not important." That was a lie. It was very important. I needed to find her. They'd never understand what it was like to be forgotten all the time, to be different from all of your friends, no matter how hard they pretended to have super powers. They weren't real, like Oracle's and I. I needed to find her, I'd say hello to her again. This wasn't goodbye. Someone was finally out there, just like me. She said hello to me. And she meant it. I would find her if it was the last thing I did.

**"_Someone's out there, to say. Hello. Hello."_**

* * *

A/N: This is my favorite song of all time. If you're wondering where it is, It's ''Hello, Hello" by Elton John and Lady Gaga. Today is my birthday, as you know. June 9th and all that. Um, yes, this was some-what of a filler chapter. Meh. Romance between Kenny and an unknown character. I have no idea who Oracle is. Perhaps, do you know? Could you guys leave me your best guess? I seriously have no idea who she is. Maybe it's the dark figure playing mind trick on him, maybe it's a random OC I happened to write in, who knows? But yes, happy birthday to me, blah blah blah blah blah blah, now you're fourteen, whatever that's chill. Review? I love you guys!


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